Oxygen Mask

I recently found Big Think, and at the moment it's my favourite site to visit when I have a few minutes to fill with something awesome. I love watching the videos of smart people (sadly, mostly smart guys) talking about things they are passionate about, and sometimes it's useful or affirming, like this one, where Tal Ben-Shahar, a psych lecturer from Harvard, talks about Five Ways to Become Happier Today...



As I was watching this, I realised that I'm already doing some of this stuff... I'm getting better at separating out and naming my negative emotions instead of trying unsuccessfully to pretend that they don't exist. It's far easier to mitigate loneliness, money worries and fear that I can't cope, for example, than an un-named and dreadful turmoil pressing in on my mind. And not-so-strangely, I really am much happier...

... And I exercise most days, for at least half an hour and I do Jenni's TiLT and I do try to make sure that, at the end of the day, I spend some time really appreciating being with my boys, cuddling and reading and talking and making sure that they go to sleep knowing I adore them... which has the fabulous side effect of making me feel adored too!

And thinking about all that I was reminded of this...

...which arose out of a conversation with my friend A, after he visited from the UK 18 months ago (just after I changed jobs) and came on holiday with me and the boys. I think it's fair to say that he was pretty worried about me at the time... He compared my situation to a incident on an aeroplane where I should put on my oxygen mask before helping the kids with theirs. I didn't (and don't) believe things were catastrophic, or my behaviour was life-threatening, but he made some pretty accurate observations about my mental state and some recommendations for weekly goals, which I wrote down (there were some other goals too... getting divorced and moving to Wellington, but they aren't relevant here). I started exercising more regularly and by the middle of last year had begun habitually exceeding 30 minutes/day. I don't always manage the requisite dose of 15 minutes of Karen time (which has to involve intellectual activity... ideally something that would make me say "Hmmmm"... A assumed a Thinker pose as he explained this) But, realising that A is right, and that thinking about cool and interesting things does make me happier, I am going to try and generate a new habit. 'Dr Bunny hops and hops and hops and...' started as a blog about learning to cope as a single parent, but when I lost my job and during my divorce it became a blog of failures and self-indulgent whining about bad choices.

I haven't felt comfortable here in recent months. I've even been considering starting a new blog, but I think I should 'own' my bad times as well as my good ones! So, instead, I am going to reclaim this one and try and establish a new habit. In the spirit of 'history has expired due to inactivity' (which has expired due to inactivity, but some people may remember), I will don my oxygen mask, seek out and blog about at least two things each week that I think are cool or interesting or thought-provoking. Let's see how it goes...

In spring even Palmy is fairyland

The pink blossom avenue in the Esplanade is like a fairy tale place and we have purple hyacinths, creamy freesias, red and pink and purple and white anemones, purple pansies, purple and white and yellow violas, hot pink dianthus, 3 yellow and orange daffodils and a red and yellow tulip in the pots on our deck. Tiny pale green leaves are starting to appear on the trees... Today was cold, but the sky was blue and the sun was bright... So many colours... No wonder T's favourite song is "I can sing a rainbow!"

Further, faster, fitter

This evening I ran 3.1 km in 25 minutes (apart from walking across one busy road), then when the kids were in bed I made myself a healthy dinner of awesome deliciousness... medium rare steak in a wholemeal wrap with hummus, mesclun, tomato, cucumber and chickpea salad (+ pumpkin, sundried tomatoes, mint and coriander from the garden, lemon juice and madras paste)...

... On Saturday I swam 750m and cycled 5 km (though not consecutively)... And on Sunday I rode my bike 9-and-a-bit km (which is d**n close to 10 km)... even mamnaged to go down some gentle slopes without my feet in the ground, and only feeling slightly shaky (well, quite shaky really, but I stayed on and kept going)...

I am so totally going to do this triathlon! (It is 6 months away, so really quite a reasonable goal)

Full and sleepy now... milk and bed!

(I copied some of this across from facebook and it has made the formatting go psycho but I am too knackered to fix it now)

Seeing the world through new eyes

I got new glasses before Easter. I think they look kind of cool, but unfortunately the only picture I have is this one my Mum took of me in my dressing gown with my hair all messy...
What I really wish I could show you is my new clarity of vision. I'm loving the crisp clean edges and bright shiny colours... helped along by the golden April sunshine and the crunchy leaves underfoot. I'm having an especially beautiful autumn this year!

No longer milking it...

Highlights of a fantastic Easter weekend...

• Staying with the wonderful Ruth, D, H and K.

• Finally getting to watch some Flight of the Conchords... the 1st 6 episodes of season 1... I loved it... especially the Bowie episode and the 'if you're into it' song Brett sings to Coco.

• Big yellow bus adventure on Friday to Oriental Bay, admiring the swampy waterfront gardens and the skateboarders, hanging out in two very different, but clearly enjoyable playgrounds, having a picnic and looking at boats, and our first ever crocodile ride... ding ding! My kids also paddled in a most-of-body immersion kind of way... and D kindly got wet instead of me:-)

• Saturday, another beautiful day... walked in Otari with Ruth, H and K and another friend and two of her kids... enjoyed the treetop bridges and lookouts, and the alpine garden sandpit (we are a menace!). The troop picnic area has a very nice toilet now!

• Fluffy dinner on Saturday at the Mexican Cafe in Newtown... very yum, but closed early, so we adjourned for dessert to a nearby Fluffy-dwelling. It was lovely and I am so lucky to be friends with such awesome women! Extremely grateful to the wonderful D, who not only babysat, but put BOTH my wee darlings to bed!

• On Sunday, Easter bunny left eggs in the garden for our little darlings (and gave me one too). We drove back to Palmy, but T woke in the traffic jam south of Waikanae, and inspired by Friday, I picked up food from the petrol station in Otaki, and headed for the beach... first time at a beach alone with both kids. It was great... lovely sunshine, although the breeze was chilly, I took their trousers and pants/nappy off , but left their fleeces on (an autumnal fashion statement). Because J is cautious round water, keeping track of both of them was fairly easy... initially J dug a paddling hole for me to fill with buckets of water, If T got away, his protective big brother charged after him, bullrush style... eventually J also braved the waves, to help collect water (apparently I wasn't fast enough) and then I had to bribe them both out with the promise of icecreams. We ate them at the playground a couple of blocks back from the beach, which has very cool merry-go-round, that I'm sure is dangerous by modern standards

• Today, Brunch at Cafe Cuba with Giffy and her friends, a trip to the Esplanade and a ride on the train

And most excellent of all (though right now my breasts are huge and hurting)... with the support of Ruth and especially D (who both boys adore) I have weaned my little T, who actuallyseems mostly unfazed... so long as I let him keep the light on and "read" for a while before he drops off to sleep. And this means that all of bed-time takes less time, and tonight both boys were asleep by 7:40, and since I have not got the new episode of Dollhouse yet (my other reason for blogging slackness), I wrote this. Now I must do the dishes, make lunches, pack bags for tomorrow, and sleep, for sleep is good.

I do like you today...

I was burgled 2 weeks before Christmas... the bast**ds took my computer, my camera, 3 months worth of kid photos, 2 presents for the kids from their English grandparents and a whole whack of my self-confidence and security. Fortunately my insurance covered some of the above.

I finally got my modem this morning, though being fully mummified today have not not had much chance to make the rounds of my favourite places... and strangely all day today I have had the Vodaphone jingle jangling through my consciousness.

I think the reason is this: Being without a computer in the context of Christmas holidays and work's recent crackdown on internet use has made me realise how web-dependent I am... I pay my bills on-line, I get my news on-line... but most importantly it connects me... and in the context of my current existence, that is no small thing! I was unbelievably lonely without a computer... so to all my favourite blogs... to Ruth, Morgue, No Right Turn, Susan, Cal, Jenni, Carla, Dan... to my Gmail chat buddies, to iGoogle, to New Scientist, Science Daily, Nature News, The Panda's thumb and many others... I haven't finished catching up with you all yet, but really, truly, madly, deeply... I DO like you today!!

Some pretty flowers

G gave me these beautiful flowers from her garden when I visited to meet wee baby E for the 1st time (okay, okay, I know it should've been me giving the flowers). They are making me smile!

Achieving project goals, but not within required timeframe

Design Specifications for Duplo "tall building with flats like Daddy lives in": Must be 3 stories tall ("no, Mummy, I meant one more"), sorry, 4 stories tall, with stairs all the way up and a garden on the roof where people can sit and look at the view.

Unfortunately, the stairs required some pretty tricky feats of engineering, so the project manager passed out before the building was completed.

Crispy crunchy...

Glittering diamonds on the deck, silvery edges on leaves and petals of my incredible unseasonal anemones, sheets of silver grass and golden sunshine.

J's favourite "okay then, you can have one poem" at bedtime for the last week has been James K. Baxter's 'Jack Frost'... "Look out, look out, Jack Frost's about", but until this morning he really hasn't been...

Crispy crunch frosty days almost make me love winter!

[And I got my milestone report in with 3 hours to spare yesterday, in spite of T being sent home from creche on Friday, and after our talk on Thursday, a colleague commented that "When you got up, you were in your element weren't you?"... I was gob-smacked! From puking shaking wreck to (apparently) confident professional in only 15 years... I should write a self-help book!]

Fabulous new knickers

Apart from some supersized ones I bought while I was pregnant and some my mother bought and didn't like, these are my first new knickers since I came back from England. I think they're very exciting!

Jungle music

Just been to the Vector Wellington orchestra Baby Pops at the Regent and it was awesome... sadly our group didn't march through the orchestra, as we were sitting up the top and had too many kids per adult... but before the concert started, the tuba, a trombonist and a trumpeter all came and had a musical chat right where we were sitting. If you live in Welly or Palmy, you've missed it for this year, but if you have wee people, check it out next year... and they have circus proms coming up in Wellington in July, which sounds even more amazing.

J makes breakfast

This morning J snuck into the kitchen while I was changing T, took two bowls out of the cupboard and put two weetbix in each. When I arrived, nervously, to check out the clatter, he said "Put the milk on please, Mummy" (I'm glad I got there before he decided to do that himself, as although I want to foster his independence, I find it impossible to be positive about the mess). Then "Do you want brown sugar on yours?", as he spooned a surprisingly restrained amount into his own bowl.

At morning tea, two of my workmates were complaining about how their teenagers did nothing to help around the house. I felt smug!

Sometimes life really is a bowl of cherries

Cherries, a cup of tea, dark caramel chocolate and both boys in bed at 9:10 pm. It's like one of those reality shows where they make all your fantasies come true!

I want to write about Kapcon and some cool science I read about today, but I also want to sleep. Sleep wins...