Still here

Still breathing, as an elderly colleague of mine used to say... until, one day, he stopped...

I have been a bit flat today, following a slightly imperfect MAF audit yesterday, but I have been having some pretty happy days lately too...

Things I really like right now:

• spring (masses of bluebells in the Esplanade were the highlight of today's floral offerings but kowhai and blossom and our 4 red tulips also rating pretty high)
• recent visits to Wellington
  
• swimming (2-3 times a week) and the happy I feel after I have run (while I'm running, maybe not so good :-) )
• the cuteness of my children (J cites anecdotal evidence from imaginary scientists to support his arguments... he seems to have a grasp of the fact that large samples are required for good science that many tertiary students and some scientists lack... "A scientist told me he went in his submarine and he saw 100... no 600 of rainbow fish and they were all eating krill", ipso facto, "Some fish eat krill, eh Mummy")

In spring even Palmy is fairyland

The pink blossom avenue in the Esplanade is like a fairy tale place and we have purple hyacinths, creamy freesias, red and pink and purple and white anemones, purple pansies, purple and white and yellow violas, hot pink dianthus, 3 yellow and orange daffodils and a red and yellow tulip in the pots on our deck. Tiny pale green leaves are starting to appear on the trees... Today was cold, but the sky was blue and the sun was bright... So many colours... No wonder T's favourite song is "I can sing a rainbow!"

Further, faster, fitter

This evening I ran 3.1 km in 25 minutes (apart from walking across one busy road), then when the kids were in bed I made myself a healthy dinner of awesome deliciousness... medium rare steak in a wholemeal wrap with hummus, mesclun, tomato, cucumber and chickpea salad (+ pumpkin, sundried tomatoes, mint and coriander from the garden, lemon juice and madras paste)...

... On Saturday I swam 750m and cycled 5 km (though not consecutively)... And on Sunday I rode my bike 9-and-a-bit km (which is d**n close to 10 km)... even mamnaged to go down some gentle slopes without my feet in the ground, and only feeling slightly shaky (well, quite shaky really, but I stayed on and kept going)...

I am so totally going to do this triathlon! (It is 6 months away, so really quite a reasonable goal)

Full and sleepy now... milk and bed!

(I copied some of this across from facebook and it has made the formatting go psycho but I am too knackered to fix it now)

Runnin' down the road trying to loosen my load

I just ran for 20 minutes continuously, and from this useful website, I can tell you that I ran 2.4 km and burnt 852 kJ (one advantage(?) of obesity is that you get to work harder when you exercise)... After the 1st 5 minutes (during which I wheeshed and puffed like a tank engine), I found a comfortable hippo-trot, and it didn't hurt again until I got stitch right at the end. I'm pretty pleased given that my aim is to be able to run 3 km in 20 minutes (after swimming 6 lengths of the real pool and cycling 10 km) by February. My workmate and I are planning to do the Palmy TriWoman triathlon before we turn 40. She's got a couple of years, but I totally have to do it this summer!

I swam 1 km yesterday, and we're swimming again tomorrow (and we walked at lunchtime today too... I am such a jock), so now I just need to overcome the cycle-vertigo I developed during pregnancy and get on my bike and ride :-)

The queen of suburban fusion cuisine

Tonight we ate tacos with slow cookered mince, beans and lentils (1 kg beef mince browned in batches in the frypan with 2 chopped onions and a large dollop of cheat's garlic, a Tsp of coriander, a tsp of cumin and a smidgen of chilli, then chucked into the slow cooker with 2 cans budget chopped toms, a can of 4 bean mix, a couple of grated carrots and a sprinkle of salt, and left on auto for the work day), raw grated carrot, grated cheese, sliced cucumber, 1/3 of a tiny tomato each, tinned beetroot and steamed brocolli. It was consumed with gusto, apart from the broccolli which was grudgingly nibbled... It seems beetroot goes with everything!

Personally, I found it a little bland, but couldn't be bothered reaching for the chilli sauce.

Stuff that's happening

• Beautiful crisp frosts, but ever so cold
  
• Broken car, but not the head gasket, so Millie survives to drive another day
• Awesome car-lending D who caught the bus to work for 2 days so I could drive the kids to creche in comfort
• Weird automatic car
  
• Warm fire, Idiot's cookies and Battlestar Galactica
• N feeding kids dinner on his nights now (an unexpected outcome of the Family Court counselling I believed was a waste of time)... and have used the time to go jogging twice (albeit in a pathetic staggering panting way)... 20 lamposts, then 26... in pairs with singles walked between... next week shooting for 30 in threes.
• Soup with smoked chicken stock and barley, pulses and pumpkin in the slow cooker, then carrot matchsticks and brocolli and assorted leaves from the garden in at the end... good contrast between the soupy broth and crisp and fresh veges... and the kids liked it too!
  
• Swimming with colleagues once or twice a fortnight
  
• Working harder on looking professional for work and getting some positive comments
• Haircut that I like
• Emotions that crash on me unexpectedly if I stop concentrating on positive, leaving me in the toilet at work with my head in my hands
• Weekly gaming keeping me sane... how do non-gamers escape?
• Kids sleeping better, so I am too, and both abed by 7:30 tonight, so 2 hours + to myself when the chores were done!
  
• Divorce goes uncontestable on Tuesday if N hasn't contested it yet, which I don't actually know. Still, it is done, and cannot be undone, just delayed...
  

The evolutionary significance of appreciating beauty

Today my feelings are hurting me (James, source of accurate descriptions, has given me this one). Where is my handsome prince? Where is my luxurious castle? Where is my beautiful swan-body? Was I cheated, or since I am clearly not in line for a happy ever after, perhaps... perhaps... I am evil?

So yeah... today... emotions not good... concentration shot to sh*t... walking around in a blurry cloud of misery. Poor concentration is certainly not a survival trait.

But this evening was beautiful. So beautiful it broke my bubble of bad Red and yellow autumn trees glowed in the golden light. the clouds were fluffy and peachy. The gorgeous young man next door smiled his sweet smile and gave me a cute little wave as I drove in, and a full rainbow presided over the washing line as I brought in the washing. And hey... here I am back in the world again!

At the start of the year, after a walk to Dawson Falls on Mt Taranaki, A asked me why I thought we evolved to appreciate beauty. I couldn't come up with a reason. But now I'm thinking... too much misery and stress is not good for us (I went to an awesome "resilience" seminar at work a while ago which touched on this. I intended to blog about at the time and maybe will soon). We need something to activate our "happy" hormones and neurological pathways or we get horribly depressed and life feels like it's not worth living (interestingly we are not the only animals that suffer from depression) and we can't be having sex or eating ALL the time... so maybe "beauty" pathways and "fun" pathways have co-opted those other pathways to keep us happy more of the time. Because let's face it... unless you're in a flight or fight situation, stress is really NOT that great!

What do you think?